While toilet training is an important milestone in the early childhood years, it can also be a confusing time, filled with plenty of questions. For example, you may wonder, when is the right time to toilet train my child? How do I know if he or she is ready? How long will it take? What are the best methods to use? 

The first and most important thing to realize about toilet training is that no two children are exactly alike, and only you should decide what’s best for your child and your family. To make that decision a little easier, here are some basic guidelines and answers to frequently asked questions:

Is your child ready?

In general, most children are physiologically ready for toilet training in terms of digestive system and bladder maturity around 18 months of age, but may not be mentally or emotionally ready until well after their second birthday. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, some early signs of readiness for toilet training include:

• Your child stays dry for at least two hours at a time or wakes up dry after naps.
• You can tell when your child is about to urinate or have a bowel movement because of his/her facial expressions, squatting or posture, or your child is verbally able to tell you.
• Your child can follow simple instructions, including walking to the bathroom and helping undress.
• Your child asks to use the potty or asks to wear “big-kid” underwear.
• Your child seems uncomfortable with a soiled or wet diaper and asks to be changed.

Your child seems ready, so what’s next?

As most parents realize, simply obtaining a potty chair is not enough, but it is an important first step. Make this a special event for your child.

• Take him/her with you to buy a potty. Explain to him/her what a potty chair is used for and let him/her help choose which one to buy.
• Once you have brought the chair home and set it up, write your child’s name on it. Let your child play with it and make it his/her own.
• When he/she has become familiar with the potty, keep in mind that it will take frequent reinforcement and reminders to help your child understand what it is actually used for.
• Remind your child that the potty is where he or she goes to the bathroom. Encourage him/her to sit on the potty while fully clothed.
• If you see straining or squatting, or other signs your child might be having a bowel movement, persuade him/her to do so while sitting on the potty in a diaper. Then you can remove the diaper and let the child “help” you move the stool into the potty. This will help reinforce the association between the potty and elimination.
• Switch from diapers to underwear. Allow your child to participate in this step by having him/her pick out the underwear at the store.
• Make sure that your child is wearing clothing that’s easy to take off when he/she does need to use the potty. Avoid dressing your child in overalls and complicated buttons, zippers, belts or tights.
• Praise your child every time he/she is successful in using the potty. A small reward, such as a sticker, can be a useful tool. If your child has an accident, do not use negative reinforcement or punishment.

A few words about accidents

Accidents are a normal and expected part of potty training, so it’s always a good idea to be prepared. For the first few months after potty training is complete, bring along diapers, wipes and a change of clothing to any outings with your child. If your child has an accident, help him/her understand what to do differently next time, and remember that the best way to respond is with support and encouragement. Quickly help your child change into dry clothing, and let him/her know that whenever he/she needs to go, it’s okay to tell an adult right away.

To learn more

As always, please don’t hesitate to ask your health care provider about potty training.  We’re always happy to help. Here are some additional books/resources that might also be of benefit to you and your child:

For children

• Once Upon a Potty by Alona Frankel, Harper Collins, 1999
• Everyone Poops by Gomi Taro, Kane Miller Book Publishers, 1993
• Flush the Potty by Ken Wison-Max and Liza Baker, Cartwheel Books, 2000

 For parents

• Guide to Toilet Training by Mark L. Wolraich with Sherrill Tippins, Bantam Publishing with the American Academy of Pediatrics, 2003

American Academy of Pediatrics Web site: www.aap.org